


Of Disrespect and First Impressions

by CaptainCoughdrop



Series: Disasters [6]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Humor, Kiku fails at social interaction, Lien Is A Hellion, Long rambly author's notes, Mongolia and Yao are siblings, Mongolia is a scary lady, Teen and Up because of one very mild swear, Yao just despairs, Young Kiku, Young Lien, better safe than sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 00:17:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13376094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainCoughdrop/pseuds/CaptainCoughdrop
Summary: Khulan’s first meeting with Kiku and Lien is not, admittedly, what you’d call a raging success.Part 7 of the Disasters verse.





	Of Disrespect and First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> … I don’t even know anymore.
> 
> I promise, at some point, I’ll get to the events of the twentieth century in this AU, which is the whole point of this series. Believe it or not, I actually have so many ideas- most of them concerning Mathias and Kiku being the most ridiculous friendship of all time- about that time period. But I can’t seem to get them down on paper. Plus, Kiku and Lien are just so fun to talk about.
> 
> But, you ask, where did the whole Mongolia thing come from? Well, I originally planned for her to have a brief mention as another Asian country that- like Kiku- went a bit crazy in pursuit of power (relating to the Mongolian Empire). But then that got me thinking of a whole character of her (I’m not entirely sure, but I think Mongolia is actually a guy in canon, so I guess this is Nyo!Mongolia), and thus Khulan was born.
> 
> As for the name Mongolekhorniiugluu, it means ‘Mongol country morning’, and there is a reason she has different names (Khulan became her name sometime in the 20th century). Also, this takes place in 300AD, and I don’t know what the country of Mongolia was called at that point, so yeah, that’s why she refers to herself as the Xianbei Empire, even though that ended in 234AD.
> 
> I might make this a multi-chapter fic? I don’t know. I certainly have ideas for the next chapter.

_13th June 300_

Khulan’s first meeting with Kiku and Lien is not, admittedly, what you’d call a raging success.

It’s the year 300, and she is visiting her brother Yao- not something she often takes the time to do, but she feels that sixty-six years is enough time for him to stop bringing up the collapse of the Xianbei Empire. Besides, she’s heard on the grapevine that her uppity older brother has two brats of his own these days, and she’s curious.

Not that Khulan likes brats- she generally keeps well clear of them. People have given her babies to hold, or assigned her to watch over children on a few occasions, but time had shown that this is not one of her specialities. She’s just not a mothering sort of person- her play too rough, her voice too sharp, her language too coarse, her temper too close to the surface. Khulan tries to train them to fight, when apparently that is Not Appropriate.

And as for babies- ugh. No. At least being a country means she’s dodged that bullet.

But Khulan- well, at the time, Mongolekhorniiugluu, since Khulan only becomes her name in the fifties- has never met nation children before. She’s never had any reason to- Yao is her elder, the vast stretches of icy wasteland to the north don’t seem to be unified as a country as of yet, and she doesn’t leave her home all that often.

But curiosity- and the nagging of her leaders- gets the better of her, and in the summer of that year she finds herself at the majestic gates of Yao’s ‘country house’, which has always looked more like a small palace to Mongolekhorniiugluu. She didn’t understand it. Why tie yourself down to one place, when you could live wild and free from the back of a horse?

Though Yao had never really been the ‘wild and free’ kind, she supposed. Not to say he wasn’t strong, because that would be a lie- Yao was the master of more martial arts and weapons than Mongolekhorniiugluu cared to mention.

Speaking of which, in a fit of kindness that was, quite frankly, very unlike her, Mongolekhorniiugluu had even taken the time to bring presents for her new… what? Nieces or nephews? Cousins? Siblings? Either way, she knew well that Yao would have the two brats sat around learning calligraphy and comportment all day, with only small breaks for kung fu practice. They’ll be bored stiff, and, worse, they’ll grow up sissies. She has no patience for sissies.

So she’s brought them each a bow, and even some arrows to practice with. Yao will probably pull a face and tell her that they aren’t right for children, but she doesn’t care, Mongolekhorniiugluu decides as a meek maid leads her to Yao’s office. She scowls. She’d forgotten Yao’s infuriating ideas about the differing roles of men and women.

‘Arban.’ Yao’s voice is flat when he greets her, one eyebrow arched questioningly. ‘To what do I owe the honour?’

‘It’s Mongolekhorniiugluu, now,’ she corrects, folding her arms across her chest. ‘And I came to see you, idiot.’

Yao’s golden eyes take in her rough deel, fur-trimmed hat, the upturned boots, the way her black hair is allowed to hang around her face with nothing holding it back. Then his gaze slides to the quiver of arrows still slung over her shoulder, the bow, and the sabre strapped to her waist. His lips purse disapprovingly, but all he says is, ‘I see.’

Mongolekhorniiugluu rolls her eyes. She loves her brother, and she knows that he loves her too, but sometimes it feels like they’re so different they might as well as been raised on different planets. ‘So,’ she says, sitting down. ‘I hear you’ve got brats, now.’ She has no patience for beating about the bush, for being clever when you could just be direct. People call her uncouth, which is just fine, because she is uncouth. ‘Didn’t peg you as the type.’

_Didn’t realise you were so interested in having a family_.

‘My Emperor’s orders,’ Yao answered, setting down his calligraphy brush. ‘I take it the bows are for them?’ Mongolekhorniiugluu just shrugs. Yao sighs. ‘I have work to do, but they should be taking lessons with their tutor right now, if you want to meet them.’

Dismissed, Mongolekhorniiugluu shrugs again, and strolls out of the room, stalking down the well-furnished and beautifully kept corridors of Yao’s home. Her boots thump against the wood, and a few maids wince- not that Khulan’s making a mess, because she’d been hoping to see that pretty maid that was here the last time, and giving people more work is not generally a good way to get someone to go out with you. Unfortunately, she’d forgotten just how short humans’ lifespans were, which is a shame. In any case, the maid probably wouldn’t have enjoyed wrestling, horse riding and weapons like Mongolekhorniiugluu does, so maybe it was for the best.

She’s broken from her musings by a monumental crash from a room ahead of her. Her hand instinctively went to her sword- a bow and arrow were probably impractical for a small hallway- before she reminded herself that this was ridiculous. The Western Jin Dynasty was going well, from what she could tell, and even if it wasn’t, it was highly improbable that war would break out in her brother’s literal house.

Still, centuries of experience makes Mongolekhorniiugluu wary as she approaches the room, which is what saves her when a man bursts from a room, his neat black robes splattered with mud, his hat crooked and his face liberally painted with ink.

Interested, Mongolekhorniiugluu peers round the edge of the door. It’s obviously a mock-up of a class room, complete with two little desks and a big desk for the tutor. Two children are watching her, their eyes narrowed suspiciously. Mongolekhorniiugluu eyes them back. They remain like this for several minutes.

‘Who are you?’ Asks the taller of the brats rudely. Long brown hair is scraped back into two neat buns, but strands are already escaping, falling over a tan face and fierce orange-brown eyes. There’s a stubborn slant to the mouth and a glare is being aimed at Mongolekhorniiugluu.

The other, the smaller one, looks different- pale, this time, with jet black hair held in a neat topknot. Big dark eyes study Mongolekhorniiugluu, face giving nothing away except for an expression of complete and utter innocence.

Looking at their faces, Mongolekhorniiugluu’s first instinct is to say that they’re both girls, but that can’t be right, because whilst the brown-haired one is wearing a red and gold ruqun, the pale one is wearing a simpler boy’s outfit. Since she knows Yao better than to think he just lets his girl children wear whatever they like, she’s forced to realise that there’s a boy and a girl. That’s vaguely disappointing, because if they were both girls she’d get the fun of corrupting both of them, but she supposes one will do.

‘I’m the Xianbei Empire,’ she answers the girl-child, even though she actually isn’t, because the Xianbei Empire ended years ago. However, since she doesn’t have a technical name at the moment, she’ll go with it anyway. ‘Who are you?’

‘Oh.’ The girl takes another look at Mongolekhorniiugluu, taking in the bow, the rough clothes, and the messy hair, before nodding. ‘I’m Yuènán, and this is my brother Wō. What’s your human name?’

‘You’re pretty nosy for a brat,’ Mongolekhorniiugluu answers, ‘And what kind of name is Wō?’

The boy’s façade of innocence cracks a little and he frowns slightly, but it’s Yuènán that speaks. ‘A dumb one,’ she says fiercely. ‘So don’t you say a word!’

Mongolekhorniiugluu is mildly impressed by her tenacity. She’s even more impressed by the Chinese government’s gall in literally calling a country ‘dwarf’. That _can’t_ be good for international relations. ‘Just saying. Tell me _your_ name first.’

The girl, who, in physical terms, can’t be anymore than seven, folds her arms and sticks her nose in the air. The boy just continues to gaze at Mongolekhorniiugluu thoughtfully, like she’s a mildly interesting experiment. ‘Yao calls me Shu Fan.’

Mongolekhorniiugluu doesn’t miss the lack of honorific, or the fact that the girl doesn’t seem to accept this as her real name. But she doesn’t comment. ‘And you?’

‘Teacher calls me Lei Shan,’ answers the boy, his voice soft but his stare unwavering. Mongolekhorniiugluu can’t tell if he’s shy or just plain creepy. She takes another look into the big dark eyes, which don’t falter when she meets them, and the pale skin. She’s leaning more towards creepy, to be honest. ‘And the Xianbei Empire doesn’t exist anymore.’

Mongolekhorniiugluu stares at him, taken aback by his blunt rudeness. Then her eyes narrow, and she feels her temper rise dangerously. ‘You shut your mouth, brat.’

She expects Shu Fan to speak up, to tell her not to be rude to her little brother, but she says nothing. Maybe even _she_ can see that Lei Shan overstepped the line a little there.

‘But it’s true,’ answers Lei Shan, apparently oblivious to the impending danger. ‘Teacher said so.’

Mongolekhorniiugluu makes a mental note to kill Yao later, but for now she just takes a step forward, before swooping down and grabbing Lei Shan by the front of his robes and hoisting him into the air. He looks slightly surprised, but doesn’t even give her the gratification of yelping like any _normal_ child would. Mongolekhorniiugluu sees Shu Fan bristle slightly, ready to leap to her brother’s defence (if the brat’s this rude, she supposes Shu Fan probably has to fairly often) but ignores her.

‘Brat, if you keep running your mouth like that, you’re gonna end up being hit in the face an awful lot,’ she snarls. ‘And absolutely _no one_ will say you didn’t deserve it.’

Lei Shan cocks his head thoughtfully. ‘So I shouldn’t be honest?’

Mongolekhorniiugluu stares at him, gobsmacked, before very seriously considering throwing the little shit out of the window. Being a nation, he’d bounce back easily enough. But she decides that Yao probably wouldn’t appreciate her flinging his brats around, and Mongolekhorniiugluu does respect her brother (a bit). Instead she satisfies herself with just dropping Lei Shan (which, ok, isn’t very far), and cuffing him hard around the head.

‘You respect your elders, brat!’ She snaps, and oh _god_ she sounds just like Yao, doesn’t she?

She turns to leave, but apparently hitting Lei Shan was more than Shu Fan is willing to overlook, and Mongolekhorniiugluu is stopped short when a fistful of mud hits her square in the back of the head.

_God_ she hates children.

 

 

Later on, once Yao has finished yelling at his headstrong younger sister for firing arrows in his house _again_ , and at Shu Fan and Lei Shan for being disrespectful and rude to their aunt along with chasing off _another_ tutor, he happens to pass Shu Fan’s bedroom. He has forbidden either of the children to speak to each other, so, naturally, Lei Shan is installed on Shu Fan’s bed, talking to his sister.

‘I _liked_ her, Lei,’ Shu Fan is grumbling, tugging off her top as she readies herself for bed (Yao would once have reprimanded her for this, but nothing he says seems to get it into Shu Fan’s head that stripping off in front of her brother is improper, and since they’re still children, he’ll leave it for now).

‘It’s not my fault she was so sensitive,’ answered Lei Shan, who is fiddling with some of the pretty flower hair ornaments that a government official gave to Shu Fan years ago, and that she has ignored ever since. ‘I was only telling the truth.’

‘Well don’t, next time,’ answers Shu Fan, struggling out of her skirt. ‘I want her to be my teacher.’

Yao thinks of the grudgingly impressed look Mongolekhorniiugluu had given Shu Fan earlier when his young student had pulled an arrow out of the floor and thrown it at her, and thinks that it probably wouldn’t take all that much to get Mongolekhorniiugluu to agree to tutor her.

Then he imagines Shu Fan even wilder than she is already, stomping about with a sword and a bow and arrow, with Mongolekhorniiugluu’s talents in tactics and her ferocity in battle, and in that instant Yao knows the true meaning of fear.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh baby Kiku and Lien, you’re both so cute.
> 
> I seem to be portraying Yao as a bit of an asshole? I do actually like him, and he’s not a bad big brother, but he’s just not totally on board with being their big brother yet, and has literally no idea what to do with these little ankle-biters. His heart is in the right place.
> 
> As for Kiku being rude, it was inspired by him offending Yao when they first met in the anime. He does learn to be more polite, but before that it takes him quite a while to figure out people (sort of like Sai from Naruto), and how not to offend them.
> 
> Mathias, I love you so much, and I promise you will get more mentions, but I just find Lien and Kiku so much easier to write about.
> 
> Deel: Traditional Mongolian wear  
> Ruqun: Traditional Chinese dress (I couldn't find what traditional Chinese boys' wear was called in 300AD China)  
> Arban: Unisex Mongolian name meaning 'a fluent man'  
> Mongolekhorniiugluu: Female Mongolian name meaning 'Mongol country morning'


End file.
